Being a Reconnecting Native is Hard
But so valuable.
Introduction
In this era, I believe that our generation has been putting in a good effort in reviewing history and learning the truth about what really happened. When I learned that it was possible to reconnect with your indigenous tribe, clan, pueblo (town), I got to work.
Asking Questions
My parents were the first people I had to turn to for answers. Neither of them knew which tribe they individually belonged to, but what they did know was that they practiced some traditions that resembled indigenous practices. The next step was to create a family tree and try to locate records on online databases, such as Ancestry.com or FamilySearch.org. While I was able to trace back to my 5th great grandparents, racial identity was very hard to find. If anything, all I found was “Mexicano”, “Mesclado”, or “Mestizo”. I then realized that this process was going to take time. And before you start to wonder why I didn’t ask my grandparents, I only one have one living grandparent and she was an orphan with no clue to what tribe/clan she belonged to. My aunts and uncles in Mexico are also unaware — they just simply “do” without tracing it to anything.
The Difficult Truth
My family is very resistant to reconecting with their Indigeneous roots. And I get it. Mexicans are racist towards one another. My mother and her mother are the darkest in the family, and they were treated horribly for the color of their skin. Not only that, because they were so disconnected, they couldn’t see themselves as the Indigenous women who came to their town to sell flowers or fruit. It’s as though they learned to separate themselves from them even though they themselves were Indigenous.
My father told me that my 2nd great grandmother was Indigenous, down to the way she dressed, the color of her skin, the beliefs she held, and the way she carried herself. She was an Adelita in the Mexican Revolution and her toughness was present until the end of her life. But nothing was said about what group she belonged to or what her practices were in specific. His home life was so difficult, it was hard to ask or pay attention to those things.
To identify as “Mexican” was better than identifying as “Indio”, I’m told. Colonization is an ongoing thing. Not just something of the past, it’s still happening. Land is still being taken and people are forced to relocate. From there, the language fades, identify fades, and as time goes on, it’s possible to lose connection all together. In my family, it’s believed that this happened. You had to start finding work, assimilate with the people around you, and it was a “bad” thing to speak your Native language.
When my dad went on a fishing trip up north (probably northern Wisconsin), he was asked if he was from the Reservation. My dad knew what they meant and of course said, no, and that was that. When I told him that he looked Native and that of course they would think that, he got upset with me. He said that he wasn’t Native, that he was Mexican.
Sound familiar?
The Good Part
My family is starting to open up to the idea to embrace and reconnect to their traditional, Indigenous roots. When I started asking questions about their childhoods, their favorite traditions, and how I was interested in visiting their pueblos — their attitudes started to change. When they saw that I was interested in reconnecting with Mexican culture, Indigenous culture, and knowing their families and getting to know their lives, they started to act and speak openly about it all. Even about the hard stuff.
The other great thing is that I’m able to connect and talk to other people who are trying to reconnect as well, especially those who are of Mexican-descent. It’s really hard for us to find our people because of how mixed we were with the Spanish, and how oppression of the Natives forced them to separate to survive. Or how Catholicism was intertwined and meshed together with a lot of Indigenous practices and beliefs as a way to survive. And we share that pain of realization once we learn the truth.
All of this made me so hyper-aware of what was happening around the world. I learned about MMIW, the pipelines like Line 3, the Residential schools, and found amazing dancers and artists who I love and support. There’s this indescribable feeling of unity and connection, because I can say, “I am with you. We are one”.
The Importance of Being Self-Aware
The number 1 thing reconnecting Natives should NOT do is: Speak over connected Natives and their elders. They have lived it and are directly affected by the actions of the government and corporations. Respectfully, we should stand behind them and amplify their voices. If they need our support to Stop Line 3 by signing a petition, marching with them, or sending a letter to the president, do it. If you want to support an Indigenous owned shop, here are a few:
Another thing to add is to be aware of your privilege. Whether you’re a white-passing or white Mexican, like myself for example, you have to be aware that the color of your skin may determine the kind of treatment you recieve. I am treated better than my mother simply for a difference in color. Use that privilege to make their lives bearable and safer, systemically and socially. Advocate for their right to take up space and voice their needs.
Also, not ALL Mexicans are Native. Some are European, Asian, Arab, etc. Nationally is not a race. That goes for other Latin countries, as well. And please, don’t automatically assume you’re ‘Aztec’ (it’s not even the correct term). There are so many tribes that I encourage you look into as you continue to track down your ancestors and their pueblos. Every tribe have their own traditions and beliefs; we are not a monolith.
In Conclusion
Reconnecting is hard, but the stories you hear about reconnecting Natives finding their tribe/pueblo is a reminder to keep working at it. For those who are of mixed heritage, being both of Indigenous and Spanish descent, I encourage you to start asking questions and start your search for your people. Colonization convinced us that we can never go back, but I’m telling you that it’s possible and you can. Just remember that we cannot claim that we’re Native without doing the work and making a true effort. Be respectful. Be humble. Have patience. Listen.
